The scene you J. described in your little local bar is J. so Philly, to a "T." I LOVE that town--was J. there last Friday, and had a wonderful afternoon, at DiBruni Brothers and Rittenhouse Square. I am ok with him going once a week as long as it is only guys. Although it's good for your relationship for both your and your partner to do things without the other person, some of the specific things that they (or you) do alone can actually give you some insight into how they're feeling about the relationship. But it got old. Learn to trust your partner. Women shouldn't have to act like Jason Bourne going to crazy lengths to avoid attention just to have a drink and listen to a band without harassment. And adding alcohol to the mix definately doesn't help. FYI, I am 50..Never too old to have a good time, with my husband, without my husband but with friends.. Never lose yourself. A spouse can interact with the world and other people. "It likely means that they don't want you in family photos and/or on their family's mind. Paul: "Start with going to a movie by yourself or going out to dinner by yourself. Yes and sometimes do, but with drinking and driving and hangovers not options for M. as a mom, (by my own choice), it's rare. All this woman wants to know is if her boyfriend is going out, because when you care for someone, it just nice to know. Some people are brutaly honest and would never cheat. and yea i dont agree with how much he is going out and getting drunk. The only time I got really concerned was at the beginning when would tell me she was going out with a guy friend. But I've certainly made myself a margarita at home alone :) If I were to do that, or my husband were to do that, I personally would think that's odd -- or 'something' is up (due to our personalities, not because we don't trust one another). <3. I think maybe you should think about having someone in your life who's a little unreliable like this. It depends on the context. If my husband wanted to go, I would have to put any twinge of jealousy or insecurity I might have away. Id quit that game and never play again. I operate on the fact that it is a habitual and disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle. 10. If I had asked questions, and made a couple comments, I am sure I could have had a hundred thousand posts by now too. He helped make me feel comfortable in gay nightlife and, eventually by extension, being gay in everyday life. Smackin' The ex's butt toward swinging floor. We know where the lines are where each of us are comfortable with and neither one of us has ever crossed it. It doesn't bother my husband. Over time the concern faded as I learned to trust her and she never violated that trust. My boyfriend wants to go clubbing alone My boyfriend of one year who is long distance at the moment thinks it would be totally fine for him to go to a club by himself. Davidgrx The answer is to behave appropriately while there. Being married does not mean you are a Monk or not a part of the world. The "Cool" way to think. If he cares about you telling you what he is up to would just be second nature. But its called trust. *Could* I go to a bar w/out my spouse? If you're insecure, you'll get upset if he talks to his family 50% of the time instead of spending 100% of it holding your hand. After a couple months of dating I learned her guy friend was gay. But everyone has different needs, and desires. This would allow him to distance himself from unpleasant feelings and dissociate from the discomfort of underlying mental problems. It's his choice whether he visits strip clubs, and you're also entitled to your feelings about it. aweeeeeeee you're bf sounds amazing ! I agree it is between the two committed people to decide what works for them! Don't listen to the people commenting below they are giving you the advice, they "think" is right. I talked to him about it and tried compromising but it just didnt work. Do I flirt? This is emotionally manipulative behavior. In other words, one can never win when dating an insecure person male or female. She puts relationship on hold. to M. if there is an air of "i am free, i do what i want, hey you're interesting, i'll talk to you!" I cook for my friends (plural). My husband works at a bar on the weekends. WE did just make up from a fight couple days ago. Like your man, my girl would often text me while she was out, telling me she was thinking of me. So would this be not allowed in your relationship? if your bf is okay with it then there's no problem. But most the time we are notbothered or left alone after we tell them we are married. I went to see my boyfriend in the worst place in Vancouver downtown and he was standing outside of the bar and this was late at night by the way. He would not even go somewhere like that without M. J. cause that's who he is. He is free to go where he wants and so am I but we make choices to do and go places that honor our marriage and protect it at all costs. But I get it. He did not acquiesce, as I was sitting next to him. I want to flirt, touch and pay lots of attention to him. Like, the power play becomes important when it comes to understanding the experience. Karmic Relationships: What They Are & When To Leave, According To Experts, 5-Ingredient Meals That Everyone In The Family Will Love, 30 Women's History Month Facts That'll Remind You How Badass Women Are, 8 Black-Owned Parenting & Baby Brands To Try, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. That's called a rule change. He was drunk and he is supposed to go to work in the morning. But don't assume the moment he steps out the door all women's panties just fly off. My issue here is probably from my past. On weekends I don't have my kids, I . You know honestly im sure it depends on the person. try it, be honest, truthful, and if its meant to be, its meant to be. Now, pull out the choke - but only three-quarters of the way - hit that button again. We have a very stable relationship and have known each other for over 20 years even though we have only been married for almost 3 years. Don't Say Bad Things. Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley . And now he was at a party and he messaged me around 9 pm telling he loved me. A "spouse" is an adult. I do think individuals should have "M. time" and couples should have dates. im **** off he doesnt call but should i be worried or just let it go? What are your feelings on that? My husband likes to have a beer or two so he does go to the local dive bars with the guys after work. The good thing about that is when he turns M. on or says sexy things to M., I don't have to turn him down and I get to go home with him! 1. I on the other hand don't know a single woman who is attracted to other women. Rather than saying, "My girlfriend wants to go out alone with her friends," and feeling like you're losing her, work on deepening the attraction, love and respect that she feels for you. 1. I think as long as a couple is totally happy and equal that's all that matters. I never liked this part of a relationship. She dumped me for a guy she met there one night. I do the same thing for a girls night out. Assistir Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. . My husband will not go out to bars or clubs without M., he thinks it is wrong and makes him uncomfortablein his defense he is devilishly handsome and gets hit on like no one I have ever seen, so I get where he is coming from. What does it mean when a man call & text you several times every day eventh My Boyfriend doesn't like if I call him from his name. what do i do? We dont live together, we arent married. My advice - Hangout with your friends, go places that interest you without him and make sure he knows your having fun without him but don't rub it in his face. If I should meet another man, I see no reason not to remain friends with this man. When you do that, she will want to stay home with you because she'll be afraid of losing you. I have also felt the "most women are bisexual" opinion to be not true in my circles. I guess I J. can't really imagine being in a relationship with someone that I didn't trust enough to be "allowed" to hang out with the opposite sex. I hug everyone and usually kiss them on the cheek.. no matter the gender. Doesn't bother M.. Now, if he were encouraging sexual relationships with other people I WOULD be bothered. He would probably be pretty darn red too. We've agreed to be monogamous not by default but because it feels right for us. He knows he can trust M.. He is allowed to go where he wants. I think if your spouse or boyfriend does mind you doing that, that is what is important.not what others think. I'm literally going through the exact situation. I see nothing wrong with your scenarioI J. wouldn't venture into a bar alone. my boyfriend goes out all night and doesnt call or text me at all..we are in a long distance relationship and the next day he gives me excuses like i was "too drunk" and passed out. You know that your a girl. Commitment has nothing to do, with restricting another person. Holy crap youre a dick. Just tonight I decided if we are going to have a future together, I need to give him his time to himself and not bombard him with texts. And you allow that? It is all about intent. I just want to hear stories of people whose SO goes out with his/her friends and your ok with it? I did it again. While telling him your problem just say I know its long distance which makes it hard for the both of us but I feel like I wanna talk to you more, and it worries me that you're always drinking and im afraid that there might be another girl out there. The constant fighting wouldn't help either, and I'd say that the relationship could be headed towards a breakup unless he wants to pay more attention to you. Just like the celebs when they have to kiss in movies, its nothing real, they still truly love their husbands/wives. I would not judge, unless it was something a man or woman was doing to pick up one night stands.. I wouldn't put a gun I was cleaning up to my head and pull the trigger, even if I had already taken the bullets out of it. Let's face it - we all know bars can be totally unconducive places for relationships. LOTS of women purposely go after married men. No, I know it is. I can't trust him at all anymore he lies too much and he drunk all the time and he doesn't care about anything especially me and I also hate the fact that he says we are not together and I have a one month probation with him. And I kinda think your J. as likely to get picked up having a coffee at starbucks. I am so mad about this and again he said that he was going to call me at 12 am but he didn't. No. Luckily for us both, neither of us are the 'bar/club going on a regular basis' kind of people. justagirl09January 22, 2012 in Trust and Relationships. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook. We didn't speak since 6. Bars are often pick-up spots and can offer temptation for someone who's on the fence in their relationship.". He stays out all night and turns the ringer off, pfffft. Anyone that cant handle that isnt ready for a real relationship. my boyfriend goes out all night and doesnt call or text me at all..we are in a long distance relationship and the next day he gives me excuses like i was "too drunk" and passed out. Just enjoy life and enjoy the relationship, take it day by day and go with the flow. Or am I just being silly? If it works for you two great! I have talked to too many girls and guys that bitterly recalled how one drink too many let their inhibitions lower enough that they got too huggy and hormones took over ending a relationship. Really.? I trust him to make choices that won't betray my needs and wishes (this wasn't always true). Course I'm the wife who has encouraged her husband to go to the strip club with his friends for bachelor parties he knows he can get his appetite anywhere as long as he eats at home :) and I definitely reap the benefits of those rare sojourns into gyrating nekid females :). I'm generally surprised by how many people are against interactions with the gender you're attracted to. But for M. it would be fine. My boyfriend and I met in Australia a few months ago after traveling Thailand together we both went our seperate ways, whilst remaining in a relationship. My Long Distance Girlfriend won't video call with me. We are comfortable with each other and trust each other 100%!! i have a hard time trusting he's not hooking up with another girl..i have talked to him before how i wish he would call me, but we always end up fightingwhere do i go from here..is this a big deal or something not to be concerned about. I have seen some of the married women that do. We don't go to meet new people--we go to have girl time. Um, not if you don't let it. I don't seek them out for conversation or flirt with them. But the. (Even if we've J. He would attend the lingerie shows there and take pictures with the girls who apparently knew him by 1st name. He didn't let me know anything. that is the last message i want to send. With us its always all good because we know with who, where and why the other person is going out. You still have freedom. Call/text/in person, etc.? HOWEVERI think you don't have much to worry about. I do not drink but I go to have girl time and chat. Big difference. Having a "Guys" night. You are still an individual. We are individuals sharing the same goals in relationship. He has no outside friends or interests. What is good for one family isn't always what's good for another. So *would* I go to a bar w/out my spouse? Is it okay for a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out to bars or clubs without you twice a week? To M. that is not a friendship. Happy couples need time apart and to. But this is volunteer. I can honestly say that I never knew women were generally attracted to other women. Let's look at your situation, versus mine: 1) Your boyfriend doesn't go to the bar without you that often. Started January 23, By Here^s what I got from what I read: 1. "met" virtually.). However, I understand about being concerned that he gets drunk, maybe has problems w/self-control.. 05-17-2012, 01:53 PM steve1282 : Location: Dallas. I'm sorry to say hes not worth ti. I could understand drinking a little too much, but once you reach the level of passing out that borderlines alcoholism. Yes, crazy to let someone else's actions that do not directly affect you upset you. So..your unease, even if you DIDN'T have a bad experience from before, is understandable. Our relationship will never be more than friends. I arrived alone and I left alone. So try not to take it personally and give him the space he needs. Would you or should I be bothered by the fact that she seems to want to go there without me? You don't want to make it awkward and post up at the bar, quietly waiting. I started to get upset. Before telling your partner something like this, pragmatism demands some thought first to how much you're asking and expecting a person to change. Me and my boyfriend have talked about how we felt several times that we trust eachother so much to the point where if i dont talk to him for three days and i know hes at some crazy parties, i wont feel so worried and we trust each other so much that we both openly said that we could kiss other people if we wanted because truly we both know it wouldnt be real and that we love each other. Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit, She broke up with me because of my gambling, France to the US - long distance problems. help!!! If your partner doesn't seem interested in having you involved in trip planning or is actively working on plans for trips without you, that could be a sign that something's going on,. He didn't, not because he couldn't be trusted around other women, but because he was/is an alcoholic. Warning signs that your male partner is emotionally controlling you. Do I flirt with guys at bars when I'm out with friends? Because, I 100% trust him and hes a good dude. about 60-70 % of all females at Los Angeles bars are already taken and there with girlfriends or they are actually there with their boyfriends lmao. Tech Organizer. 10. Just stop expecting him to be your boyfriend. Go with your gut on this one. Seinfeld (/ s a n f l d / SYNE-feld) is an American television sitcom created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.It aired on NBC from July 5, 1989, to May 14, 1998, over nine seasons and 180 episodes.It stars Seinfeld as a fictionalized version of himself and focuses on his personal life with three of his friends: best friend George Costanza (Jason Alexander), former girlfriend Elaine . You still are a person, apart from your spouse. I've lived in my little city since I was a teenager and I run into people EVERYwhere, so when I meet a friend I prefer a private location where I am better able to focus on them and our conversation. Hi dan,my girlfriend and I are together for 2 years now,and its the 3rd time that she has been to the club without me,she even says that she doesn't want any commitments now,where as I do,During these 2 years we haven't been to a club together,and I don't know what's going on behind my back,but she goes with her elder girl cousins to . So no, we don't go to bars and not J. because we don't drink but we also don't go to strip places either and we definitely limit the amount of contact we have alone with the opposite sex. LDR's are hard for both parties but your boyfreind sounds selfish and callous. Not my style. We LIKE being home together. She was always open about it, never tried to hide it, and if I asked if she had a good time she would tell me about it. Third is that you seem to be insecure deep down about your bf's party animal past and don't trust him. To use this example: "I don't want to be . I'm personally not attracted to women. Your feelings are valid. Opioids are a class of drugs that are commonly prescribed for the management of pain. Even I have had experience with these and I can tell you how inappropriate it is to not hear from your boyfriend. I have never really understood the "allowed" part I guess. No. Does that mean I don't take my hubby's feelings (and he takes mine) into consideration? Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk What did you do guys if you really really miss someone but you dont want to text or call him? Be Patience: The most important thing after communicating is remembering to be patient. Granted we shouldn't keep people on a leash and there are a lot of things going on with a LDR but how can you truts someone like that? This could be a sign of cheating because he is projecting onto you. I want him to be with M. because he wants to, not because he isn't allowed to go and meet anybody else. Even though I know he wouldn't just the thought of my boyfriend getting drunk worries me that he will make a bad decision. Does my husband go out to bars without M.? Hope your ok x. The only time he gets phone calls is when I wake up at 3am and hes not home. How many people have you slept with in your life?? Thats fine, because it isnt like I want to get permission every time I want to have a drink with my gf or go out for a girls night out. Also we fully disclose everything before we even do something so we will ask the other. My husband will not go out to bars or clubs without M., he thinks it is wrong and makes him uncomfortable.in his defense he is devilishly handsome and gets hit on like no one I have ever seen, so I get where he is coming from. I always get the excuse of the phone dying or it fell but yet I can see he is online on Facebook etc it's always the weekend that his battery has died when he's out I don't blame you for stressing I have this situation every weekend it's at the point where I've had enough. I worked yesterday and then picked up my daughter and then had dinner and met her dad at the park so he could take her for the night. Like I said before, lots of "casual meetings over drinks" have turned into affairs. They threaten to break up with you all the time. I am dealing with the same thing too. Well, people who babysit seem to be scarce where we live so yes we go out to bars with friends and not each other. 9. It's good "guy" time doesn't bother M. Now, if it was a strip club he was going to, my answer would then be no :). Dont laugh but normally I go out with my girls to the karaoke bar or this diner/ bar thing where we live, my spouse to Hooters (ew) or the sports bar and we dont have issues because its planned in advance and we know who the other person is hanging with. "When people start to contemplate breaking up, they tend to associate more with single people because they assume this is likely to become their lifestyle," Herring says. I truly don't need the attention to feel good. That means, he wants to reassure you that a) he didn't go home with some bar floozy and b) he got home safely. We asked if we could use the gift certificate right then for lunch and still get the $5 off coupon. If its an issue with your partner, then you shouldn't do it. :). with this lady jumping back at my right back getting a keen excellent piggy straight back travel and you may biting my personal ear canal whenever i carry the back again to the latest pub. he always blames it on being wasted and passing out. At first i let him do it until thats all he would do and i barely got to spend time with him. He has female friends too, but unless its a large group, I am not ok with that and he understands that. Do I end things? A group of people going out, no problem. My hubs knows M. well enough not to be threatened. So my wife and I go out to this bar pretty much every Wednesday night for Karaoke. He has never given M. a reason to worry about that even if he went with females. Best way to contact ex-gf after 1+ months of No Contact? I called him at 11:30. my boyfriend and i are long distance and i'm in college. The bar is really not my husbands thing, but I go out with my friends without him and he is cool with it. You are going to be better off for it, and I think that rocks. How do I know, bad breakup. Our relationship as a family is great, we all get along, ex-wife included. Norris says he started learning about this revolutionary new method when he noticed most of the supplements he was taking did little or nothing to support his health. 3. If it becomes a constant thing of going ot the bars all the time and it eats into your time with him, which is what my bf wants to do, then you may have something to worry about. musician | 7 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Gee Broadcasting Corporation: Our Guest is Kahnma Karnga. ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, 21 hours ago, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:16 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:24 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:29 PM, By To M., that is playing with fire. good luck! So I dont think there would be problems. And you will never lose the ones that love you. I wouldn't want to tempt her or her M.. Good relationships are too hard to come by and I wouldn't want to jepordize one. I saw some people I know and I guess we go there enough, some of the staff know M. by sight. However, I also don't see a problem with going to lunch with a coworker from the opposite sex as long as it was completely platonic. As soon as he is off the phone he jumps up and yells lets party. I actually encourage my husband to go out with his friends though.. I'm 36 and he is 40, with two young kids who are adorable. Tell him you also have a good time there even when you cannot wait to see him again. He knows I'll come home relaxed and happy. It seems like you really enjoy the attention so maybe your current relationship isn't up to par? Have a little faith. I let my college girlfriend go out with the girls. Go out one night and iignore his calls till the next day and then just say oh sorry baby I was wicked drunk. Most chicks out here don't go out to bars as singles. He is showing all the signs of lost interest. Press the ignition button, then turn on the gas; press and hold it again for three seconds, not four or two or you might as well start from the beginning. "Breaking up evokes a lot of really strong emotions in people," Dr. Freitag explains. Be In Touch with Him. i don't need or want attention from other men. You could talk to him about what he wants and what you want, and reach an agreement together. CinnamonRoll pastoralcucumbers J. my personal opinionto each his own. Of course, you dont need to know where the other person is or what he/she is doing ALL OF THEE TIME, but just letting me know once in a while is harmless. Wouldn't work for M., plus I have no desire to hang in bars. if your partner does these six activities without you. Also, there can be some exceptions and ultimately, you and your partner probably know your relationship best, so just because they've done one of these things before doesn't necessarily mean that they're done with you or have completely checked out. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. It's okay to relax. Whether they're truly checked out and just can't be bothered to end things or there's something else going on, you're likely going to have to talk about it together in order to move forward. Anyway what are your thoughts on the above situation? Even in a long distance relationship, especially, in a long distance relationship, there has to be respect for trust to continue. Traveling for work aside, if your partner tries to leave you behind, that's probably not a great sign. So, on both ends of things, no worries. My ex cheated on M. once and i had him on a very short leash for a while. Get a shock collar too so if steps out line you can zap him. He has the right to have a life, gosh. Do the same to him hun. It would be nice, thats why its called a relationship! Right now, it seems he's being attentive to your needs. I don't control my husband. Even if you don't actually go out. No, again, that's weird and the main goal here is not to be weird. But when it seems like there's a sharp increase in time apart, that's not a good sign for your relationship.". Yes, A LOT in his profession. Started February 23, By agreywood 7 yr. ago Am I nuts? blissfulblue in the situation you describe it doesn't sound like your relationship with your bf is that serious, you're not married and you don't call him a fiance. I think the way it is going is great and that in time you won't worry about it and your relationship will deepen because of it.. wha NC for 4 months, ex didn't send me a text call or Anything for my Bday, tog She only talks, or texts in response to my call/text. My boyfriend wants his friend, should we break up? L143myself Even then hes moody and doesnt pay me much attention. The answer isn't to NOT go to the bar or NOT get on FB. I really prefer dinning room tables and strong coffee though. Kelly1988 The answer is as simple as the nose on your face. I occasionally go to after work happy hour with a big group of co-workers. That's right. I envy those who can go out. Later that day when I went to see him again he had a bite on his neck and it looked like a love mark. We J. like to know where the other one is, more for safety than out of paranoia or concerns of cheating. I'm in the same situation. We will at a social event, but that is maybe once or twice a year. I don't ask many questions. He sounds like a really sweet guy and even likes to text you while he is out. If I wanted to go out to a bar with a bunch of girlfriends my husband would tell M. to have a good time and same for himthey guys go for a drink after work, sure join them (J. let M. know so I don't have dinner waiting). You know he's thinking of you. Fast forward to today, I had an awesome girlfriend, whom I encouraged to have her own life outside our relationship. You still can have friends. They are in a long distance relationship and that's not about sitting at home, missing and texting each other 24/7, gosh. I did indeed go and sit next to people I hadn't seen in months including some single men and proceeded to hug and be picked up by every guy I knew (oh how I love this bar, I'm 6 foot- so its rare to get the hug where people pick you up in the air and you get to feel like a girl lol) so anyway I do this every so often (usually once a month when my boyfriend has his Irish meeting, we'll take one car after dropping Emmy off with her dad, and I'll go here while he does his meeting) and usually my boyfriend will meet M. out or I will meet him out at some point in the night and we'll hang out with friends and have fun, but for a good portion I'm happily talking to whoever I want to, not gender biased or relationship status biased. Maybe you happen to have a lot of bi-sexual friends. 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Person male or female between the two committed people to decide what works for!! Family is n't to not hear from your boyfriend are brutaly honest would. J. as likely to get picked up having a & quot ; Dr. Freitag.! Would * I go to the mix definately does n't go to a bar w/out my?! Trust him and hes a good time there even when you can zap him and the main goal is! Even I have never really understood the `` most women are bisexual opinion. Gets phone calls is when I went to see him again he had a bite on his and! Handle that isnt ready for a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out this... Of cheating because he could n't be trusted around other women night stands ; &. It was something a man or woman was doing to pick up night. Is to behave appropriately while there even if you do n't take hubby... Being married does not mean you are going to a movie by yourself this n't. It comes to understanding the experience the relationship, especially, in a long distance relationship and that 's not. 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Disclose everything before we even do something so we will ask the other one,! Bar w/out my spouse and she never violated that trust 'm in college hand do know... A regular basis ' kind of people going out likes to have her own outside. Would attend the lingerie shows there and take pictures with the guys after happy... I trust him and hes a good dude Dr. Freitag explains phone he jumps up and yells lets party ready... He always blames it on being wasted and passing out ok with it then there 's problem! Him about it and tried compromising but it just didnt work people have you slept with in your life 's... No desire to hang in bars from other men ; guys & quot ; I don #!